Amy Poehler Emmys

Look: We all know that Queen Amy don’t need no man (snaps in Z-formation), but this is the internet. And on the internet, we like to dream up and flood the Tumblr tag of every possible pairing of attractive celebrities who probably have never even met while we sit around in our pajamas eating almond butter by the spoonful. Welcome!

Now Kiss!

Now that the dust kicked up by The Day We All Realized There’s No Point and Deleted Our OKCupid Accounts in a Sullen RageTM has settled a bit, it’s time to pick a new fantasy boyfriend for our fantasy best friend/big sister.

Adam Scott and Amy Poehler

Adam Scott

Bachelor Number One is none other than the man who brings Ben Wyatt, Human Disaster to life every week on Parks and Recreation. Now when I say “bachelor,” I actually mean that he is very, very married, and I’m sure his wife is lovely and deserving of such a perfect, tiny elf-king. But Amy and Adam have such an easy, funny, sexy chemistry on Parks that it’s incredibly hard not to dream of a reality where they (poorly) role-play very unsexy politicians off-set too.

Amy Poehler and Questlove
Questlove

Amy not only stars in Parks and Rec, she also occasionally writes and directs; performs with her improv group the Upright Citizens Brigade; drops into SNL; is a mom of two; creates inspiring content for young girls on her Smart Girls web channel; and, if she doesn’t need to sleep that week, makes out with Paul Rudd on a movie set. Who better to keep up with our blond dynamo than the hardest working man in New York City?

Zac Efron
Zac Efron

How about a reimagining of that seminal classic, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, starring Amy and Zac? I’d buy my ticket right now.

Amy Poehler and Bradley Cooper

Bradley Cooper

Just letting this photo speak for itself.

Amy Poehler and Louis CK
Louis CK

One look at them presenting together at the Emmys last night, and I. Shipped. It. Hard. Louis is basically a genius, and pretty dashing for someone who’s closed the book on non-linear, “schlubby, world-weary comedian” television shows. We know from this epic blooper reel that they have a blast working together; (“I’m fart and I’m smunny and I’m a prize.”), and can you imagine how hard his daughters would adore her? Shipping it ALL DAY.

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler

Tina Fey

Come on, you know you’ve had this dream after falling asleep in front of early aught SNL reruns…

Who’s your dream man (or lady) for Miss Amy? Tell us in the comments!

– Sage

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