-Posted by Sage

Starting Head Over Feels with Kim is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. The blog has given me creative purpose and connected me to new friends, but I really haven’t been exploiting it enough for one particular purpose:

Scoring with dudes.

I mean, everybody uses the internet to get dates these days, right? I know of plenty of sickeningly adorable success stories, of which I am not at all jealous. Unfortunately, the process of wading through hundreds of identical profiles and enduring several humiliating first dates is generally soul-crushing. And now with the news that OkCupid is probably full of cannibals, what’s a girl to do?

“Put yourself out there!”, they say. Where is “out there”? Is it a magical place where single, straight, normal 20-30 something guys hang out, just chomping at the bit to get into healthy, monogamous relationships? Can I get directions on HopStop?

I’m trying a new tactic. And I don’t think it’s any more of a shot in the dark than betting your life’s happiness on a match.com algorithm.

Hey, Ben Schwartz: I think you’re terribly cute, funny, and smart. Next time you’re in NYC, let’s go out for a drink.

Ben Schwartz

Ben Schwartz is my Clooney. My Gosling. My Prince Harry, minus the questionable fancy-dress choices. I have Parks and Recreation to thank for introducing me to Ben via Jean Ralphio Saperstein, the only Pawnee resident who can match Tom Haverford swag for swag. He’s also brilliant on Showtime’s House of Lieswhich is thankfully returning soon with a second season. Then there’s his bonkers work on Jake and Amir, College Humor, and Funny or Die; a guest-hosting gig on Attack of the Show (RIP); improv shows at UCB in NY and LA; and plenty of writing projects.

I met Ben after one of his shows at the Del Close Marathon at UCB NY this year. He smelled good and was really nice to me. And all of my Facebook friends were jealous of my picture.

Have I mentioned that he’s adorable?

New Girl Cute Guy Alert

On the real, Ben: why not? (Unless you have a girlfriend, in which case, please give her my apologies.) I think you’re hilarious. And I’m buying.

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