I like to think I know you guys pretty well. Thus, I’m guessing that you’re pretty excited for tonight’s episode of New Girl. Considering the way my timeline blew up last Tuesday night, we’re all pretty invested in the budding attraction and possible romance between Jessica Day and Nick Miller (Nick Miller, from the streets of Chicago.) I usually catch up with the loft crew on Hulu on Wednesday morning. But immediately after it aired, I got a text from Blog Wife ordering me to find some way of getting my hands on the episode ASAP. Because it was “up there with Jeff and Annie in the season 1 finale. And ‘Casino Night.”‘ “Casino Night”? The standard to which I hold all “my-ship-is-setting-sail” moments? I think I can make time for that.
And was it ever “Casino Night” good. If I had had a pack of cigarettes on hand, I would have smoked them all at the same time. And I don’t smoke.
As much as I re-watch and flail over THE moments, my favorite part is what comes after that first kiss, love confession, or oops-we-accidentally-naked. From the preview clips, we can tell that tonight’s New Girl starts right where the last left off. And I am jonesing for some awkward, “what did we just do?” shenanigans. To prepare, I’ve collected a few of my favorite “Morning After” scenes from television and movies. Join me in the gutter, won’t you?
Chandler and Monica – Friends
Friends had been dropping hints about Mondler for an entire season, but this reveal still broke my teenage brain. I particularly enjoy how Monica is looking relatively calm, while Chandler is clutching the sheet to his body like a virgin on prom night. (We’ll get to one of those later.) Even though this hook-up was set up like a drinking-sad/comfort-sex mistake, we all knew these two were in it for the long haul. And, bonus, in the 7th season episode “The One with the Truth about London,” we get to see how the whole thing actually went down.
Ross and Rachel in Vegas – Friends
There’s something that you really need to know to truly understand me as a person. My Friends OTP isn’t Ross/Rachel. It isn’t even Chandler/Monica, though they’re a close second. I will forever carry the banner for Joey/Rachel, and I will and have gone down with that ship.
That’s a whole post on its own. But the main reason I changed allegiances is that I got the Ross/Rachel fatigue. The high drama moments were exhausting. This Ross and Rachel, the exes and friends who are kind of still weird around each other, are my favorite. Instead of dealing with an emotional crisis, they’re dealing with the fallout of epic drunkenness and a wedding that was, to quote Ross, “Nevada’s fault.” Helllooooo, Mrs. Ross. Hellooooooo, Mr. Rachel!
Brodie and Rene – Mallrats
“What are you doing? You promised me breakfast.”
“Breakfast, shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ’s sake. It’s only the second period and I’m up 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, “the Whale,” they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.”
Brodie Bruce’s ideal post-coital plans involve a few hours of video games before an afternoon of Olympic-caliber loitering. But Rene decides it’s still a better deal than being fucked in the back of a Volkswagen by a husky Ben Affleck. That’s what they’re talking about, right?
Jim and Michelle, sort of – American Pie
For everyone who ever wished they could have the fun night AND the bliss of waking up alone. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you can’t have it all.
Well folks, with the SAG Awards airing last night, we are halfway through Awards Season, with only the BAFTAs remaining before the Super Bowl of Pop Culture, The Oscars!! While the majority of the winners were not unexpected, the SAG Awards still managed to have some fun, endearing and moving moments. Let’s reflect on them shall we?
Best Reaction to Winning (Movie Edition): Jennifer Lawrence
Look at our precious blueberry Jennifer Lawrence in that picture. First of all, she is there with Walking Pneumonia and she looks fabulous. And she was genuinely surprised at her win. This was the first head to head battle (or battle with no separate Comedy category) with the other presumed Best Actress Front Runner Jessica Chastain. The race for Best Actress is ridiculously close, especially if Chastain ends up taking the BAFTA. This speech could seal the deal for an Oscar win for Lawrence though. It’s adorable (She thanks “My Super Sweet 16” y’all!!) and gracious without coming off as fake or grating. Ahem. Anne Hathaway. I’ll get to you later.
Also, there has been much debate over whether or not JLaw’s dress ripped. Word is the dress had those sheer panels already, and they were supposed to show throughout the dress but she (wisely) chose to have the sheer panels hidden, and they only showed as she was making her way up the steps.
Best Reaction to Winning (Television Edition): The Cast of Downton Abbey
The ONE upset of the evening was in the Drama Ensemble category, with Downton beating out the likes of Homeland, Mad Men, and Breaking Bad. Clearly, SAG voters are as obsessed with British Television as we are. Apparently this win happened right as something TERRIBLE happened on this week’s airing of Downton on PBS. I’m not saying what the terrible thing was. We respect spoilers here at HoF, as Sage will be discussing shortly. As someone said on twitter last night, that win does NOT make up for what happened, universe!!
Also how FOXY is Mrs. Hughes???? And this is the most precious picture ever, even with the amount of side/underboob Lady Mary was showing.
Worst Reaction to Winning (entire show edition): Anne Hathaway
Annie. We discussed this in our post on the Golden Globes. You KNOW you are winning. Work on your speeches. You just come off as disingenuous to me. Maybe it’s nerves? Whatever it is, you’re just trying too hard. You’re also rich, so there is no need for you to joke about “just being thrilled to have dental”. This is why people roll their eyes at you. Get yourself together before February 24th please. Watch tapes of Lawrence and Chastain’s past speeches. Also wear a better dress please, cause that one was fu to the ugly.
With a few bright exceptions, this year’s Golden Globes fashion was a full-on snoozefest. The carpet was full of celebs in playing-it-safe neutrals and prom-y ball gowns. The risks weren’t risky; Jennifer Lopez in a naked dress? Quelle surprise! Even Jennifer Lawrence, who usually rocks it, didn’t hit the mark this time. And can we PLEASE call it a day on mermaid gowns? Did I sit on the remote and accidentally change the channel to a Say Yes to the Dress marathon? Ladies, reign in your Ariel fantasies. Time for this trend to die.
Hollywood: I need you to step up your game before the Oscars. You are officially on notice.
Even a ho-hum year like this has its fashion moments. And here they are, my picks for the Best Dressed of the 2013 Golden Globes! (See Kim’s post on the ceremony here.)
Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, obviously
Our hostesses with the most-esses did not disappoint on any level. Their onstage and red carpet looks were sleek and sexy, befitting the queens that they are. Tina accentuated her gorgeous teal sequins and black and white wiggle dress with soft, Lana Turner-esque waves, while Amy went with a classy side knot.
My favorite Amy look was her uuuuuber-sexy red carpet suit by Stella McCartney, who designed all of her outfits for the big show. The deep V, the perfectly cropped pant, the sparkly platform sandals. It’s heaven.
Tina was no slouch either in this L’Wren Scott number. The cut makes her body look redonk. And I know Kim is still dreaming about those shoes.
A post-baby Claire Danes was looking red hot in Atelier Versace. This showstopper stood out in the crowd of cream, blush, and white. My only complaint is that the bruise-colored eye makeup was laid on a little thick. Good thing her Globe win didn’t make her cry.
Let’s get right to it. Tina and Amy KILLED last night. They looked AMAZING (Stay tuned for Sage’s post about Globes fashion) and they were hysterical without every straying into mean Ricky Gervais territory. I just love them so much, you guys. Can they host ALL the awards shows together??
In fact, they were UNDERUSED in the second half of the show which prompted this tweet from Sage: “Can we get an APB on Amy and Tina?” Why DO Awards Show Hosts tend to vanish in the second half of the show? Is it a time thing? An “Oh crap we need to finish this show by 11 and there are SO MANY categories left” thing? Someone explain it to me please. But when Amy and Tina DID appear, it was amazing, from dressing up as fake nominees in categories to hanging with superstars during the Comedy Actress category. But come on, Tina. You could have hung with someone cooler than Jennifer Lopez.
Way back when we launched Head Over Feels, Sage made a post about picking a new ship for Amy, as news about her divorce had just broken. Well…sorry Louis C.K., but I have a new winner:
Make this happen, universe. COULD YOU IMAGINE??
Also, Clooney could eternally GET IT. To quote Sex and the City, “He’s like a Chanel Suit. He never goes out of style.” You want to feel old? That line was uttered TWELVE YEARS AGO. And Cloons has only gotten better with age. He’s number one in my common law top 5. The EYE CRINKLES. I cannot.
PS How is he STILL dating Stacy Kiebler?? I seriously thought that was a relationship purely for the red carpet last year.
Also Seth McFarlane, the gauntlet has been thrown down for your Oscar hosting gig. I have a feeling you won’t live up to Amy and Tina’s flawlessness. But good luck to you sir. (Ugh, seriously, I am NOT looking forward to him hosting. It’s going to be terrible.)
Highlights from the show:
– Jodie Freaking Foster, everyone. Her speech started loopy (We died over her yelling “I’m 50!!!” SNL style) then veered into a bit of “Fuck you” territory regarding her personal life and much speculated about sexuality and then closed in an incredibly touching retrospective on her career and where she goes from here. I loved the “But it will be my writing on the wall: Jodie Foster was Here” bit.
Every year I wake up on Oscar Nomination full of anticipation…what madness does the Academy have in store for us this year?? And this year was even MORE interesting, as the nominations were being announced BEFORE any of the other major awards shows have even happened (The Critics Choice Awards are tonight, and the Golden Globes are Sunday) so there was no way any wins could sway momentum in anyone’s favor. So while things that were expected (like Lincoln dominating) happened, the Academy threw us a couple curve balls (AHEM BEST DIRECTOR) to keep things interesting. I feel like many of these races are WIDE open y’all, despite the number of nominations Lincoln got. Campaigning is gonna get ugly. So let’s get right to discussing the major races, shall we?
(However, I must make a quick observation about the nomination announcement: CAN EMMA STONE CO-HOST PLEASE???)
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Life of Pi
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty
I have seen 5 of these (Argo, Les Mis, Lincoln, Life of Pi, Silver Linings). Okay BIG confession time: I found Lincoln to be a bit dull.
Yes, the acting was excellent, especially by the three that got nominated this morning (DDL, Field, Jones) but come on. I can’t be the only one who got sleepy somewhere in the middle of it, can I??? Also, I know I need to see Amour (which will probably be a shoo-in winner for Foreign Film) but I KNOW it will leave me suicidal afterwards, based on everything I have read about it. Another confession: Quentin Tarantino is VERY hit or miss with me. AND I hate Jamie Foxx. Like…really hate him. So I am hesitant about Django. I plan on seeing Beasts as soon as I can get my hands on a DVD (actually, I am hoping they will re-release it here in NYC). And ZDT is at the top of my list, and hopefully I will see it in the coming week or so.
So who will win?? I HAVE NO IDEA. I feel like this field is wide open, folks. My personal favorite right now is Argo. But will the lack of support in other fields (BEST DIRECTOR) play against it?? Will we have a year where Picture/Director DON’T match up? I think it is entirely possible.
Michael Haneke, Amour
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild
THIS is the category where the Academy made this race WACKY.
The directing branch has long been a Boys Club, so it was miraculous when Kathryn Bigelow won for The Hurt Locker a few years ago. Buzz was building again that she would be a strong contender for Zero Dark Thirty. Buzz was that she would possibly even WIN. AND THEN SHE WASN’T EVEN NOMINATED. I don’t understand. Are they threatened by the fact that she has taken traditionally masculine topics like war and terrorism and effing SCHOOLED them in how to portray it masterfully? Or are they just too threatened by the fact that she has a vagina? Seriously. I cannot.
ALSO BEN AFFLECK Y’ALL. What the hell happened??? Actors turned Directors have historically been all SORTS of Oscar Bait (Just ask Marty Scorsese) and Affleck has now turned in three excellent pictures, yet he still can’t break through with the Academy in this category. Are they bitter about him winning for the Good Will Hunting screenplay? Have they not forgiven him for the days of Bennifer and Gigli? I don’t get it.
Of course, my opinion could totally change once I see Beasts and Amour. And clearly, the Academy had a big hard-on for Silver Linings Playbook, which I also loved, but I don’t really consider it a great piece of DIRECTING.
I’m not one for crash diets, probably because I don’t hate myself, or food for that matter. But after the usual holiday-related gluttony, I’ve been feeling sluggish and eager to get back to a routine that less resembles Michael Phelps in training but minus most of the workouts. But how? What flawless and unimpeachable health guru is there to turn to for advice?
Gwyneth Paltrow to the rescue. In case you haven’t heard, Gwyneth has a website and e-newsletter called goop, which I think stands for “White Girl Problems Weekly.” But enough internet whiners have complained about her giving advice from a place of privilege, as if she’s the only celebrity to ever do so. No Gwyneth haters are we.
In fact, my roommate and I are embarking on a 7-day detox goop cleanse recommended by Ms. Paltrow. The good news is that we’re not starving ourselves. The bad news is that we can’t have dairy, gluten, processed foods, red meat, sugar, caffeine, or alcohol, so it feels like we are.
We’ve concocted a plan to get us through this trying time and hopefully save the lives of our friends and colleagues. Gwyneth got us into this mess, and only she can get us out. We’ve scoured her filmography to present you with one Gwyneth movie for each day of your cleanse. Ready, set, detox!
Day 1: Iron Man
It’s Day 1, and you’re feeling excited, anxious, and a little powerful. For the cleanse kick-off, I’m recommending the original Iron Man with Gwynnie as Tony Stark’s long-suffering assistant Pepper Potts. For the next 7 days, it will help to think of yourself as another unlikely superhero. And I can think of no better cure for a caffeine withdrawal headache than heaps and heaps of RDJ.
Day 2: Shallow Hal
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, blah blah blah. It’s Day 2 and your stomach is cannibalizing itself. Time to think thin.
Listen: The holidays are awesome. All the best movies of the year come out within the same two-week span; you can start drinking at pretty much any time of the day that you feel like it; and people you like GIVE you stuff. They just give it to you!
For those of us who wear our hearts and feels on our sleeves, we can assume that at least some of that stuff will be fandom-related. And fandom presents are the BEST presents. How could socks and underwear possibly compare to the ThinkGeek catalog or the creme de la Redbubble?
We put out the call to our Twitter followers and, as always, they came through like gangbusters. Check out the plethora of geek gifts the Head Over Feels family got this year!