I like to think I know you guys pretty well. Thus, I’m guessing that you’re pretty excited for tonight’s episode of New Girl. Considering the way my timeline blew up last Tuesday night, we’re all pretty invested in the budding attraction and possible romance between Jessica Day and Nick Miller (Nick Miller, from the streets of Chicago.) I usually catch up with the loft crew on Hulu on Wednesday morning. But immediately after it aired, I got a text from Blog Wife ordering me to find some way of getting my hands on the episode ASAP. Because it was “up there with Jeff and Annie in the season 1 finale. And ‘Casino Night.”‘ “Casino Night”? The standard to which I hold all “my-ship-is-setting-sail” moments? I think I can make time for that.
And was it ever “Casino Night” good. If I had had a pack of cigarettes on hand, I would have smoked them all at the same time. And I don’t smoke.
As much as I re-watch and flail over THE moments, my favorite part is what comes after that first kiss, love confession, or oops-we-accidentally-naked. From the preview clips, we can tell that tonight’s New Girl starts right where the last left off. And I am jonesing for some awkward, “what did we just do?” shenanigans. To prepare, I’ve collected a few of my favorite “Morning After” scenes from television and movies. Join me in the gutter, won’t you?
Chandler and Monica – Friends
Friends had been dropping hints about Mondler for an entire season, but this reveal still broke my teenage brain. I particularly enjoy how Monica is looking relatively calm, while Chandler is clutching the sheet to his body like a virgin on prom night. (We’ll get to one of those later.) Even though this hook-up was set up like a drinking-sad/comfort-sex mistake, we all knew these two were in it for the long haul. And, bonus, in the 7th season episode “The One with the Truth about London,” we get to see how the whole thing actually went down.
Ross and Rachel in Vegas – Friends
There’s something that you really need to know to truly understand me as a person. My Friends OTP isn’t Ross/Rachel. It isn’t even Chandler/Monica, though they’re a close second. I will forever carry the banner for Joey/Rachel, and I will and have gone down with that ship.
That’s a whole post on its own. But the main reason I changed allegiances is that I got the Ross/Rachel fatigue. The high drama moments were exhausting. This Ross and Rachel, the exes and friends who are kind of still weird around each other, are my favorite. Instead of dealing with an emotional crisis, they’re dealing with the fallout of epic drunkenness and a wedding that was, to quote Ross, “Nevada’s fault.” Helllooooo, Mrs. Ross. Hellooooooo, Mr. Rachel!
Brodie and Rene – Mallrats
“What are you doing? You promised me breakfast.”
“Breakfast, shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ’s sake. It’s only the second period and I’m up 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, “the Whale,” they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.”
Brodie Bruce’s ideal post-coital plans involve a few hours of video games before an afternoon of Olympic-caliber loitering. But Rene decides it’s still a better deal than being fucked in the back of a Volkswagen by a husky Ben Affleck. That’s what they’re talking about, right?
Jim and Michelle, sort of – American Pie
For everyone who ever wished they could have the fun night AND the bliss of waking up alone. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you can’t have it all.
We may not have many rules here in the wiki-wiki-wild-wild west of the Internet, but isn’t this one we can all agree on?
This Sunday’s Downton Abbey featured probably the biggest WTF moment of the entire series – one from which all fans are still reeling. (I saw the episode months ago through, um, channels, and I’m not even close to being over it.) One of our dearest readers was flabbergasted at a Facebook friend’s blatantly spoilery status update (THE MORNING AFTER) and her lack of remorse when her friends rightfully called her out on her poor netiquette. According to the culprit, her status wasn’t a spoiler because the episode HAD ALREADY AIRED. So, let me get this straight…she thinks that the definition of “spoiler” is just whatever a person can find out about an upcoming episode of Breaking Bad after breaking into Vince Gilligan’s office under the dark cloak of night and making off with his hard drive?
Can we just not do this to each other? They’re called “spoilers” because they RUIN the viewing experience for anyone who comes across them. Posting a spoiler on Facebook is like walking up to somebody who’s eating their lunch, licking your palm, and then pressing it down on their sandwich while maintaining constant eye contact. It’s cyber bullying for nerds.
And why?! WHY, for the love of Pete, are people compelled to do these things? We GET it. You, like THE REST OF THE WORLD, are like, SUPER into Downton. Congratulations on having your finger on the pulse of something that’s completely mainstream. If you need to talk it about right away, let me introduce you to my friends at Tumblr, who had gif-setted that scene with weepy song lyrics about 30 seconds after it aired in the UK. Or you could, I don’t know, have a PRIVATE conversation about it with a friend. Call your mom. Call your therapist. Whatever you need, man. Just KEEP IT OFF FACEBOOK.
By now, we all know better than to surf Twitter or Tumblr when we’re trying to avoid being spoiled. They are fandom central and just can’t help themselves. But Facebook is where you go to see pictures of your nephews and RSVP to birthday parties. I COULD swear off Facebook for the next six months until I finally watch Homeland. But how about I just hope that none of the family members, friends, acquaintances, or nemeses on my timeline decide to swap out the usual baby bump picture update for a major plot point reveal status? Let’s make Facebook a safe zone, ya’ll. Otherwise, we have no choice than to Clockwork Orange ourselves and watch everything immediately as it airs in real time or retreat from society all together.
The existence of boxed sets, onDemand, and Netflix Instant have all extended the statute of limitations on spoilers. Unless it’s a part of public consciousness or internationally known catchphrase, keep the big reveal (character death, goody turned baddy, a ship that happened or didn’t, etc…) to yourself or to the fandom (trust me, they are out there and ready for you). At any given moment, anyone can decide to embark on a full completed series and I, for one, believe in your right to enjoy it just as much as any original fan ever did. I put an entire post about a show that ended seven years ago under a cut, for crying out loud. At this day in age, it’s only right.
There are ways to brag on Facebook about how culturally relevant you are without inspiring murderous feelings in anyone who wasn’t watching PBS on Sunday night. So, just…don’t be that guy. Spoiler alert: everybody hates that guy.
Well folks, with the SAG Awards airing last night, we are halfway through Awards Season, with only the BAFTAs remaining before the Super Bowl of Pop Culture, The Oscars!! While the majority of the winners were not unexpected, the SAG Awards still managed to have some fun, endearing and moving moments. Let’s reflect on them shall we?
Best Reaction to Winning (Movie Edition): Jennifer Lawrence
Look at our precious blueberry Jennifer Lawrence in that picture. First of all, she is there with Walking Pneumonia and she looks fabulous. And she was genuinely surprised at her win. This was the first head to head battle (or battle with no separate Comedy category) with the other presumed Best Actress Front Runner Jessica Chastain. The race for Best Actress is ridiculously close, especially if Chastain ends up taking the BAFTA. This speech could seal the deal for an Oscar win for Lawrence though. It’s adorable (She thanks “My Super Sweet 16” y’all!!) and gracious without coming off as fake or grating. Ahem. Anne Hathaway. I’ll get to you later.
Also, there has been much debate over whether or not JLaw’s dress ripped. Word is the dress had those sheer panels already, and they were supposed to show throughout the dress but she (wisely) chose to have the sheer panels hidden, and they only showed as she was making her way up the steps.
Best Reaction to Winning (Television Edition): The Cast of Downton Abbey
The ONE upset of the evening was in the Drama Ensemble category, with Downton beating out the likes of Homeland, Mad Men, and Breaking Bad. Clearly, SAG voters are as obsessed with British Television as we are. Apparently this win happened right as something TERRIBLE happened on this week’s airing of Downton on PBS. I’m not saying what the terrible thing was. We respect spoilers here at HoF, as Sage will be discussing shortly. As someone said on twitter last night, that win does NOT make up for what happened, universe!!
Also how FOXY is Mrs. Hughes???? And this is the most precious picture ever, even with the amount of side/underboob Lady Mary was showing.
Worst Reaction to Winning (entire show edition): Anne Hathaway
Annie. We discussed this in our post on the Golden Globes. You KNOW you are winning. Work on your speeches. You just come off as disingenuous to me. Maybe it’s nerves? Whatever it is, you’re just trying too hard. You’re also rich, so there is no need for you to joke about “just being thrilled to have dental”. This is why people roll their eyes at you. Get yourself together before February 24th please. Watch tapes of Lawrence and Chastain’s past speeches. Also wear a better dress please, cause that one was fu to the ugly.
You didn’t think we could stop at 12, did you?
After Kim’s top TV moments post, a few of you were kind enough to ask about my list. My babies, you flatter me. It didn’t take long to come up with 12 (and a half) more memorable pieces of television that aired this year. This list is highly subjective and not at all complete – I’m a season behind on Louie, and I haven’t even started Homeland or The Walking Dead. But that’s enough with the excuses. On with the list!
1) The Gabby Giffords “Fix You” Montage – The Newsroom
It’s not that I DON’T realize that Aaron Sorkin is manipulating my emotions, it’s that he’s so good at it that I don’t care. The Newsroom had its moments this year, and the best were usually when the news team kicked into action. This montage also includes some of the best dialogue in the first season of the series: “It’s a person. A doctor pronounces her dead, not the news.” and “You’re a fucking newsman, Don, I ever tell you otherwise, you PUNCH ME IN THE FACE!”
2) Amy Poehler and Julia Louis Dreyfus switch Emmy acceptance speeches.
As much as I worship at the altar of Amy, I’ve got nothing but love for Julia Louis Dreyfus. And apparently, Amy does too. Their bit was cute and clever, and acknowledged that Julia realized (though she’s brilliant) that she was taking home an award for one season of work vs. Amy’s five. The TV funny lady crew has always seemed chummy instead of catty, and you can’t help but cheer on this kind of friendship and support. Love.
2.5) Leslie Knope votes for herself – Parks and Recreation
But seriously, Amy should have won that Emmy.
3) The Battle of Blackwater – Game of Thrones
It seemed like all of the action in the talky second season of GoT was crammed into this episode. Explosions! Fire! Heads chopped off! And meanwhile, Cersei Lannister getting gloriously hammered and bitchy.
I was expecting madness on the TV Comedy side this morning when The Golden Globe nominations were announced. I ranted about it yesterday in my post about the SAG nominations. So while I am not happy about the insanity that is the TV Comedy section of the Globe Nominations, as LEAST I was prepared. I was NOT prepared for the madness of the drama nominations. Let’s get right to it, shall we?
Best Television Series — Drama
THEY SNUBBED MAD MEN.
I’ll say it again.
THEY SNUBBED MAD MEN. The show that THEY were the first real champion of. The show that has won this award THREE TIMES.
The Hollywood Foreign Press is notorious for not only loving shiny new playthings but for constantly sucking up to super famous people. And The Newsroom is both a shiny new plaything and it’s from a sort of well known guy called Aaron Sorkin. So of COURSE The HFPA was going to fawn over The Newsroom. I just never thought it would be at the expense of Mad Men. (Also, I am saying all of this as someone who is a FAN of The Newsroom. I really am. But…but…MAD MEN THOUGH, YOU GUYS!!)
Also, I still don’t get the obsession with Boardwalk Empire. It bored me to tears in the first few episodes of Season One, so I gave up on it. I can see why it’s an awards magnet: it’s a lavishly designed period piece (see also: Downton Abbey, except Downton is freaking flawless and emotionally engaging). I just never really connected with Boardwalk, so I gave up. Should I try again in ALL of my free time, dear readers? Let me know.
All of this being said, I still think this award is Homeland‘s to lose.